When it’s time to get down to the bedroom boogie, there’s usually a variety of elements that need to be considered. Everything from what to wear (or not to), what music to play and even how to make the first move are all common decisions.
One aspect that often gets overlooked, however, is whether or not to keep the bedroom lights on.
Depending on how well you know your partner, the answer you give may be fairly straightforward. But if you, like the majority of people, prefer the lights off, maybe you should think again.
According to a survey performed by UK energy company Boost, seven out of ten lovers prefer sex with the lights off. That’s not a shocking revelation seeing as the dark can act as a comforting blanket to shield us from self-consciousness.
But as it turns out, there are a bunch of good reasons you should be keeping the lights on instead.
Why wouldn’t you want to see your partner?
Many people like to hide in the dark because they feel shy about their body, it’s a very common thing. But your partner is with you for a reason, right? They like YOU, and that’s not going to change because they see your nakedness. In fact, they will probably get even more turned on, which is great news for everybody involved.
People are always the most critical of themselves, meaning that what you see as a flaw might not be all that to someone else. Either way, being able to see each other can be a great turn-on and lead to some passionate sex.
Moreover, having sex with the lights on can also change how you feel about your body. The negative way many of us typically view our bodies is the main reason why sex in the dark is so popular. It’s time to break the cycle of negativity and instead love your own body, while helping your partner love theirs, just the way it is. It might be nerve-wracking at first, but once you notice that your “flaws” aren’t a big deal, your sexuality can truly blossom.
Boosting yours or someone else’s confidence always feels great and if you’re having better sex at the same time, then that’s just amazing.
You wouldn’t perform surgery in the dark, would you?
Mind the analogy, but having successful sex that’s great for both partners can be a complicated thing to achieve. That’s just all the more reason to give yourself every advantage you can, which in this case is being able to see properly.
Sex needs touch, specific touch, to specific areas of one’s body if an epic orgasm is to be had. Is your partner’s skin getting goosebumps? What’s the look on their face? How can you tell if you can’t see them?
It makes sense that sound isn’t the only expressive feature that’s needed when it comes to gauging sexual arousal and getting feedback. So, just like a regular conversation, being able to see someone’s reactions adds another layer to the interaction. Sex in the light should inherently turn both of you into better partners.
Experience a heightened connection
Yes, it’s true. Sex in the light can help strengthen the bond between partners. Just like eye contact makes for a more connected conversation, the same is true in the bedroom. Gazing intimately into each others’ eyes, smiling, frowning, laughing, whatever – it’s all much easier when you can see properly. This connection can create intimacy like you’ve never experienced and lead to a more comfortable sexual experience in the future.
Maintains focus and desire
Sometimes people can get distracted during sex and staying in the moment can prove difficult. This is more common when sex is had in the dark because your sense of sight is restricted, allowing the mind more room to wander. Men lose erections, women fall out of the “mood” and connections are lost.
None of that’s good, but thankfully sex in the light can help keep many of the elements used for arousal in plain sight. Desire is nurtured and increased helping couples to stay in tune with each other.
Nobody said the light had to be bright
If you are a believer in Chromotherapy, where colours are used to bring out an emotional or physical reaction from our bodies, lighting is important. Using coloured light can be a great way to create an additional element for heightening the senses and enhancing your sex.
While white light can be sterile or harsh, adding colours or even just a dimmer switch can really change the mood for the better. Also, don’t forget that light casts shadows on our surroundings and our bodies, which can create even more sensuality.
Great sex is never about sheer mechanics – it’s about connection, creating comfort through acceptance, and seeing as well as feeling reactions.
Doing it in the dark restricts so much of what great sex truly is, so next time just go for it and keep those lights on. You’ll be glad you did!